I Love You! Just Don’t Tell Anyone
by GYRAX
Summary: Motoko and Keitaro are challenged to live life as a couple for one year and they have to keep it under wraps from the other tenants, all for the sake of a hot new reality show. 4th Chapter up!
1. The Hopeless Couple

Note: I do not own Love Hina, or any other intellectual properties. They are all copyrights of their respectful owners. The rest, however, is MINE, BEE-YOTCHES!

Through a strange twist of fate, Motoko and Keitaro have to live life as a full-fledged couple for one year. Add to it the fact that they have to keep it under wraps from everyone, and you got hell, my friend; it won't be easy. And it's all for the sake of a hot new reality show.

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GYRAX Presents… 

_I Love You. (Just Don't Tell Anyone.)_

Chapter 1: _The Hopeless Couple_

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"Pay up, Urashima." Motoko demanded from one side of the table.

"You can't be serious." Keitaro replied from the other side of the table. "I only brought enough money to pay for half. You'll have to pay for the other half."

"Don't even TRY to wiggle out of this one." Motoko said.

"I'm not joking!" Keitaro said in response. People in the restaurant began to take notice.

"We all know the man is supposed to pay for dinner." Motoko said. "It's courteous." They had just finished with a great dinner, and now the bill was on the table, smack dab in the center too, nicely between Motoko and Keitaro.

"But, I don't have enough." Keitaro said.

"Cheap bastard!" Motoko replied. Next thing he knew, Keitaro had a fork at his throat. "Listen, Urashima. I didn't even want to go on this God-forsaken date, and I sure as hell don't want you to further complicate an already problematical situation. Just pay the damn bill!"

"AACK! SERIAL KILLER!" Keitaro screamed. Just then, everyone sitting at the restaurant looked at them like they were OJ and Nicole Simpson. Motoko put the fork back on the table. Afterwards, Keitaro pulled out his wallet and took some cash out of it; he put it on the table.

"See, Motoko?" Keitaro said. "I only have this much, and I forgot my credit card."

Motoko sighed. "Fine. I'll pay for half." She also put some cash on the table. "But next time, you bring your damn credit card! Got it?"

"Yeah, I got it." Keitaro agreed. "Let's just get out of here. Huh?" Keitaro looked back to see the guys giving him thumbs up, and looking at him like he performed a miracle. He also saw the girls doing the exact opposite, like what he did was the devil's work. He grew nervous and rushed Motoko out. By the time Keitaro and Motoko left the restaurant, an all-out war between the men and women broke out.

(O)

"That was a disaster!" Motoko protested. Then, she heard some glass break behind her. "What was that?"

"Never mind that!" Keitaro said, well aware of where that came from. "Let's just go. Let's just go!" He took her hand and dragged her further away from the restaurant.

"Let me go!" Motoko commanded. Keitaro quickly complied. The samurai continued. "You know, you make a horrible boyfriend."

"So, now you're going to judge me because of one minor mistake?" Keitaro retorted. "I just forgot my credit card, ok? At least I had cash; it wasn't like I was broke."

"You better be lucky we both had money, or you would've been dead meat." Motoko spat out. "I don't even know why we even bother to go out. I knew right from the start that it would all end up like this." Motoko remained silent after that, but only on the outside. _Urashima and I are doing this for the money, of course. We really need it in the condition we're in._

"You know," Keitaro said. "I'm starting to have my doubts, too." _Actually, there's no doubt. We have to pay off all those bills._

What exactly do they mean by this? Well, let's rewind this story back a few hours, all the way to the beginning of the day, the day when it all went down to hell.

* * *

"We're broke?" Keitaro said in shock. 

"Yep." Haruka answered. The Hinata residents were gathered at the meeting room. "Add to it we still haven't paid for the electric, the water, the gas, the phone bill, nor the rent. We also have to pay for damages."

"Whatever happened to that sixty thousand yen we won from that raccoon round up?" Naru inquired.

"I'll answer your question by asking another question." Haruka answered. "Where do you think that big-ass karaoke machine in the living room, that ass load of confetti, and the three bottles of ass-expensive sake came from?"

"Dammit, Kitsune!" Naru yelled.

"What?" Kitsune responded. "I can't help it. It's in my blood."

"In your blood?" Keitaro retorted. "I think you have too much sake in your blood."

"Forget it." Haruka interjected. "Right now, we have to come up with at least sixty thousand yen for the electric, the water, the gas, the phone bill, the rent, and the damage to the house."

"We'll all have to help." Motoko said. "We each need to come up with at least ten thousand yen to pay for everything."

"So in short," Keitaro said. "We're job hunting."

"A blunt and unsophisticated way to put it, but yeah. You're job hunting." Haruka replied.

"Oh, hell. We don't have time for this!" Naru retorted. "Keitaro, you and I have to study for Toudai! We don't have the time for any stupid job hunt!"

"Then," Haruka interjected. "I guess you don't have time to pay your rent and save your own sorry ass before you're evicted and forced to live the life of Grizzly Adams."

"I get the point already." Naru sighed. "I'll get a job."

"Actually, I think that'd rock." Kitsune said. "You'd have your own pet bear and everything."

"Quiet, Kitsune." Keitaro replied.

"So that settles it." Haruka said. "Get your resumes ready."

(O)

"Rrrrgh!" Keitaro groaned. "This programming stuff's a bitch! What the hell is this…d-I-r…postscript…run macro…Mr. Happy…I DON'T KNOW! Why did I even sign up to be a game programmer, anyway?" Keitaro scratched his head in frustration, as his bellyaches could be heard from his cubicle and every other cubicle surrounding it. He just couldn't take all the orders that were being barked at him.

And the demands kept coming.

"Hey, new guy! We need more NPCs at the barracks!"

"Hey, new guy! You forgot to tweak up the physics engine!"

"Hey, new guy! There's a glitch at tree #374!"

"Hey, new guy! Reprogram the AI! It sucks!"

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" Keitaro screamed, as he flew out his cubicle like a bat outta Hell and smashed through a glass window.

"New Guy!" Said another programmer.

"Wait!" His coworker said. "He forgot that this is the third floor."

(O)

"I'll maul Shirai and Haitani for this!" Keitaro was dragging himself across the sidewalk with a bandage wrapped around his head. "They were the ones who hooked me up for that stupid job! Like I knew how to program!" Then, he caught something from the corner of his eye; he turned and saw Motoko dragging her ass across the sidewalk in the same exact fashion as he was. "What are you doing here, Motoko? I thought you were taking that job as a fencing instructor."

"Already taken." Motoko replied in a sullen voice. "They chose some red-haired guy with a scar on his face."

"Bummer." Keitaro replied. "Now what?"

"What happened to that job you had?" Motoko asked.

"Programmer?" Keitaro corrected. "I quit. I just couldn't take the pressure."

"You quit," Motoko repeated. "Because of one little problem! You spineless little cockroach!" She took out her bokken and began to chase Keitaro around the city block. "Get back to your programming job, Urashima!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Keitaro screamed, his cries could be heard from six blocks away.

"YOU LITTLE BUG!" Motoko shouted. "DON'T MAKE ME USE MY SPECIAL TECHNIQUES ON YOU!"

"STOP RIGHT THERE!" Cried a voice. The twosome immediately halted by a crosswalk to see who screamed that out. They looked around and finally saw a man standing at the other end of the crosswalk, waiting for the light to change with a big smile on his face, looking directly at them.

When the light turned green, the man ran quickly towards them, startling them for a minute. He was in a three-piece suit, wearing sunglasses so you couldn't see his eyes. His hair was jet black, and that damn smile was still on his face. "THAT WAS COMIC GENIUS!"

"What are you talking about?" Keitaro asked. "She was just chasing me around."

"It goes further than that." The man said. "Looking at the two of you, I could tell that girl hates spineless men, and you ARE one. That would make for a PERFECT couple!"

"You're joking, right?" Motoko asked.

"No." The man replied, concise to the point. "You familiar with foil pairs?"

"Yeah," Keitaro answered. "Two people who are the exact opposite of one another tagging along together."

"That's what I see in you guys. Come with me. We'll discuss this in a different spot."

(O)

"A reality show?" Keitaro asked, sitting at one end of the table.

"Yep." The man said, sitting at another end of the table. "I was thinking of pitting you two together as a couple, to see if I could get exact opposites like yourselves to live together. A woman who hates men living with a man, and a secret relationship they must keep a secret from the rest of dormitory. To me, this spells comic gold."

"Not happening." Motoko retorted, sitting at another end of the table. Then something hit her. "Wait! Did you come to our house uninvited?"

"Nope." The man responded, concise to the point. "Someone told me about you guys. She's a crazy kid with a banana obsession."

"You mean Su?" Keitaro said.

"I believe that's her name." The man said. "She told me all about you guys, from the alcoholic teenager with a healthy libido, to a short-tempered shrimp with no depth perception, to a sweet little bluenette, to you guys. She's also the kid I hired to build new state of the art cloaking surveillance cameras. It's a good thing I met you guys, because now I have something to try the new cameras out on."

"Kazu-kun!" The scream came from all the way across the restaurant. The three turn their heads to see Su jumping around, heading towards the man. "There you are, Kazu-kun! You made it here, just like you promised."

"Su?" Both Keitaro and Motoko vocalized.

"Hiya, guys!" Su exclaimed, holding a bundle of bananas. She turned to the man. "So, you're really gonna put us in a reality show? If you are, I can ask for sponsorship from the people of Molmol."

"That'd be great." The man said. He then turned to Keitaro and Motoko. "She's a princess too. Doesn't that beat all?"

"We already know that. We live with her." Keitaro said.

"Who are you?" Motoko asked. "You never gave us your name."

"You didn't either." The man said. "But I'll introduce myself, anyway. I'm television's Kazuto Kugashira-san; I'm a producer."

"Keitaro Urashima. I'm the dorm's landlord."

"Sweet!" Kugashira-san replied. "That makes things even better."

"Like you wouldn't believe." Keitaro said in answered back; note the sarcasm.

"Motoko Aoyama."

"Glad to meet you, Motoko." Kugashira-san replied. "But let's get to the point. I challenge the two of you to live the life of a couple for one whole year, but you mustn't tell your friends back at the dorm about this. In fact, you must keep the whole thing under wraps."

All Motoko conjured up from her voice box was, "WHAT?"

"Are you crazy?" Keitaro added.

"Nope." Kugashira-san answered, still keeping that creepy smile on his face. "I'm a genius." Keitaro and Motoko just sweat dropped. Kugashira-san continued. "Su told me you needed the money to pay some serious bills."

"Well," Keitaro responded. "That is true. We could use some money…"

"GREAT!" Kugashira-san exclaimed. "Sign here." He puts a document down on the table.

"Come on, Keitaro." Su said. "We could be in stardom."

"I absolutely refuse!" Motoko said.

"Aww! Why, Motoko?" Su pouted.

"Well," Motoko answered. "First off, I don't feel like selling myself to any demons right now. And secondly, I do not want anything to do with being all mushy to this despicable little housefly of a man!" She pointed to Keitaro, who just sat there looking at her.

"Damn." Kugashira-san said. "I guess I could take that as a no."

"Motoko's afraid of turtles!" Su said out loud.

"How dare you?" Motoko gasped.

Just then, a brown-haired guy sitting at the table next to them turned his head, so his eyes would meet theirs. "You know, I have a turtle right now." He pulled out a gray turtle with a brown shell, and showed it to them. "Meet Mr. Snapdragon!"

"KEEP HIM THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!" Motoko screamed. Just then, some other people joined the brown-haired guy, peering at Motoko in a mischievous fashion. Not able to take the pressure, Motoko ran for it.

_She looked down on me for not being able to withstand the pressure._ Keitaro thought. _And now, she's contradicting herself by running away from a turtle._

Indeed, Motoko was running around the restaurant, with a crowd of people chasing her saying "Do it, do it" with the brown-haired guy holding Mr. Snapdragon the turtle.

"A swordsman afraid of turtles?" Kugashira-san said. "You should've told me earlier, Su. (Though I don't how those people knew about this. They probably eavesdropped in on our conversation.)"

"THAT'S IT!" Motoko cried out. "BOULDER CUTTING BLADE!" Motoko sent out a ki attack that threw the crowd to a nearby wall. The attack then destroyed a few tables; one of them went flying towards Kugashira-san, smashing him on contact.

(O)

"Sorry about that." Keitaro said, as they stand beside a now injured Kugashira-san at the closest Hospital.

"That's ok. Something told me I had it coming." The man replied.

"Now, we'll have to sign it." Keitaro replied. "To cover this guy's medical bills, as well as damages from that restaurant. Great job, Motoko."

"So it's my fault?" Motoko retorted.

"YOU'RE the one who attacked them!" Keitaro spat back. He turned to the injured television producer. "Where do I sign?"

"It's on the cart." Kugashira-san answered. Keitaro went over to the contract and signed it. He turned to Motoko. "Your turn."

"Dammit." Motoko sighed. She went over and she also signed it.

"Great!" The producer exclaimed. "We'll start tonight, with a date between the two of you. I'll have my people arrange for the reservations. Of course you'll go to a different restaurant."

And both Keitaro and Motoko thought the same thing. _What have we done?_

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We now fast forward back to the present, to the end of the night. Keitaro and Motoko looked at the never-ending stairs leading to the Hinata House. Then they look at one another.

"I have a plan." Motoko said.

"Go on." Keitaro replied.

"I brought two bags of clothes with me." Motoko continued. "One has mine and one has yours." She hands him one of the bags. "We each find a bush to change our clothes behind. DON'T LOOK!"

"I won't!" Keitaro retorted. They both hid behind their selected bushes and changed to more casual clothes. Keitaro was about to approach the staircase until Motoko stopped him.

"Wait." Motoko said. "We don't want to make them think we went out on a date or anything like that. For safety measures, I'll head to the Hinata House first. You wait two or three minutes later and then you enter. That way, it'll look like we came in at different times from a failed attempt to find a job. And try to act it too, ok?"

"I'll go with the groove for now." Keitaro replied. With that, Motoko went up the steps to the Hinata House, while Keitaro stood there and watched.

To be continued.

Please review.

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See you next chapter. 

_Let the Festivities Begin!_

Also be sure to read and review my other fics _Awe of She_, and _Tokyo Myuh Myuh_. You can find them in my profile.

Until next time, Ciao!

-GYRAX of the Dark Icon Writers


	2. Let the Festivities Begin!

Note: I do not own Love Hina, or any other intellectual properties. They are all copyrights of their respectful owners. The rest, however, is MINE, BEE-YOTCHES!

**NefCanuck** – He's not the only one.

**mdizzle** – What would happen if Motoko met the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? Apocalypse, my friend. Apocalypse. :p

**Necromonger** – Thanks, I appreciate it.

**Sion R. Strife** – I have an idea or two in mind.

**Keitaro+Motoko 4ever** – I know I have Shinji's forums in mind.

**CSENTIMENTAL VALYOU** – Yeah, it is.

**TornadoReviewer** – Thanks for the comment.

**Keikun** – I'm glad it intrigued you.

**Shy Girl1988** – Does Keitaro like Naru in this story? It all depends. Take Carez to you, too.

**Drgnmastr-Alex of the Dark Icon Writers** – Thanks, buddy.

**tomdj1701** – Thanks.

* * *

GYRAX Presents… 

_I Love You. (Just Don't Tell Anyone.)_

Chapter 2: _Let the Festivities Begin!_

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**Second Mission: Go on another date, but at the movies. The catch is the two of you must pretend to be the opposite sex. Are you up for it?**

Ever since this reality show ordeal, Keitaro's bedroom was now also a confession room, where Keitaro can pour out his opinion about what happened before, in the hallowed traditions of _The Real World_.

"Motoko's theory that all men are vile creatures or whatever she says just irritates the hell out of me." Keitaro said. Then he thought that over for a second. "But it's not like I'm doing a damn thing to disprove it. I was horrible at last night's date; I mean I started a war between the sexes at that restaurant. I even had the gall to forget my damn credit card!" He paused for a moment. "At least I have a way for a girl to actually pay for half of the bill for dinner, now." He stopped when he heard footsteps approaching his room.

Naru heard Keitaro's voice come out of his room and went to check up on him. Perhaps he was talking to himself. Was he at wit's end?

Keitaro heard the footsteps coming closer, so he began to freak a little. He had to think fast, before Naru would have a chance to jump to conclusions. He shouted, "FORGIVE ME FATHER, FOR I HAVE SINNED!"

Naru stopped right in her tracks after hearing that. After a second pause, the girl slowly stepped away and left.

"What's with you, Naru?" Kitsune asked, taking notice to Naru's strange behavior.

"Kitsune," Naru replied. "I think Keitaro found Jesus."

"Wait, he did?" Kitsune said, starting to figure out that maybe that would mean trouble for her little scamming-the-dork-out-of-his-cash-for-sake business. "Damn." She left, with Naru following her.

After a moment of silence in Keitaro's room, the ronin sighed in relief. "Thank God." His little out of the blue plan worked nicely. Suddenly, the door swung open with the greatest of might. The ronin quickly reacted by violently swinging his head to see who it was. He turned to see Su standing there with another smile on her face. Suddenly, a robot sprang out of nowhere and dragged the poor manager to her room.

(O)

Keitaro landed on the floor on Su's jungle room, flat on his face too. He looked around, and then he stood up. He looked at Su, and saw Motoko was also here. "What the hell do you want now, Su?"

"I'm here to give you the next task!" Su said. "You have to go on another date, but this time at the movies. The catch is the two of you must pretend to be the opposite sex. Are you up for it?"

"YOU WANT ME TO BE A MAN?" Motoko screamed.

"Don't be so loud, or the others will catch on." Keitaro said.

Motoko only growled.

Su then began to rummage around in her nightstand drawer, while Keitaro and Motoko began to wonder how a nightstand got there in the first place, perhaps a gift from Kugashira-san. She pulled out what looked like two pills; one was red and one was blue. "You're not just to dress like the opposite sex, but you are to sound like the opposite sex; falsetto doesn't cover it anymore."

"So what are those pills for?" Motoko asked.

"They change your voice," Su answered. "So you would better sound the part. The red one makes you sound more masculine, while the blue one makes you more feminine."

"I'm supposed to take this?" Motoko complained.

"You don't want any suspicion form the public, do you?" Su replied. "If you don't sound the part well, I believe you'd be laughed at for being cross-dressers. You'll need these pills."

"Well, ok." Keitaro said. He took the blue pill. "We'll need a glass of water."

"One step ahead of you." Su replied. She gave each of them a glass of water. They put the pills in their mouths, and drank the water to help them swallow. A long silence filled the room, as the supposed couple was eagerly awaiting the results.

Nothing happened.

"Gee, that was a waste of time." Keitaro said. He turned to Su. "Are you sure those weren't sugar pills?"

"They were supposed to work." Su replied. "I worked all night making those."

"Well, congratulations." Keitaro said, note the sarcasm. "You invented a Placebo." All of a sudden, something happened; he felt a rumble in his vocal chords. "What was that…Ah!" He knew instantly that his voice was changing. "My voice. My voice!" As he spoke, his voice was slowly morphing into something else; it was getting…deeper!

"Su!' Keitaro exclaimed. "What did you do to my voice? This ain't feminine!"

"Oops." Su replied nervously, with a bead of sweat on her head. "I guess I had it wrong. The blue one makes you sound MASCULINE, and the red one makes you sound FEMININE."

"So I now sound like Barry White!" Keitaro retorted.

"You think you're the only one?" Motoko added, sounding like a California valley girl. "My voice is too HIGH!"

"At least Keitaro's voice is sexy, now." Su remarked, in attempt to make up for this little mix-up.

"Well have to seclude ourselves until this wears off," Motoko suggested. "Which is…" She turned to Su. "How long does this last, Su?"

"Umm…" Su replied. "I'm thinking somewhere in the neighborhood of three hours. That's just a wild guess."

The supposed-to-be couple looked at one another in utter disbelief.

(O)

After that, Keitaro had secluded himself in his room. He was ready for another "Talk to the Camera" moment. "Leave it to Su to screw it all frickin' up. If Naru finds out, how am I supposed to face her? My butt itches." Keitaro paused for a moment to think about what benefits could come out of a voice like this. He took out his boombox.

As Kitsune was walking down the halls, she was hearing someone sing. To further investigate, she put her ear up to Keitaro's door, and then she heard someone sing what sounded like "Love Gravy" from South Park from the other side of the door. Without a trace of second thought, she threw the door open and took Keitaro down, not even knowing where the voice came from.

By the time Motoko came to Keitaro's room to check on what that ruckus was, she already saw Kitsune with hr arms all over him. Crimson with embarrassment, she drew out her sword. "You disgusting, lecherous slime ball!"

Kitsune turned to her. "Motoko? What happened to your voice-WAAAAAAAAAAGH!" Before she could finish, a ki attack sent her clear out of the house and into the ionosphere. Motoko now turned her glaring her eyes to Keitaro.

Keitaro knew that unless he did something, he was pretty much screwed. He had to think fast. Then, a light bulb turned on in his head. He pointed directly forward and screamed, "OH MY GOD!"

Motoko turned her head, but saw nothing. By the time she turned back to Keitaro, he was gone, out of thin air. Her face now grew red in frustration. "Damn you!"

(O)

Keitaro hurried to the bottom of the Hinata House's endless flight of steps. After he took his marathon to the streets, he tried to catch his breath. "Whew. Thank God she can't find me here. Dammit! This wasn't even my fault! Kitsune was the one all over me, and Su was the one who goofed up, giving me the wrong damn pill!"

He noticed someone at the corner of his eye and turned to see a girl staring at him with sparkles in her eyes.

"Crap." Keitaro said to himself. "I don't think I was supposed to be in public while I still have this voice." As he spoke, more girls gathered to listen to him in awe. Keitaro saw the growing gaggle of women and panicked. "CRAP!" He ran back towards the Hinata house, with the ladies chasing him.

(O)

Just as Naru went outside to catch some fresh air, she noticed Keitaro running up the steps with a frightened look on his face. He ran around the front porch, with a trail of overzealous girls chasing him. This definitely brought attention to Naru, who was watching this unfold in sheer flabbergast.

Then, she saw Keitaro run towards her. Now was the time to sock him! "You lecherous slime ball! How dare you woo over those girls behind my back! TAKE THIS!" She punched him clear into the sky. The newfound fan club watched in horror as he flew up until he was completely out of sight. Then, they turned to Naru with evil glares in their eyes. What they did next was they beat the living shit out of her!

(O)

After his trip around the world, Keitaro forced himself to reside in Su's room for his hiding place. "You know, Su, this was all your fault for mixing up those damn pills."

"They should be wearing off now." Su replies. "What gives?"

"You said it was only a wild guess, didn't you?" Keitaro said. Suddenly, he felt a rumble in his vocal chords. This is it; his voice is changing back to normal. "Whoa! That feels funny!" Keitaro's voice slowly changes, until it's back to the normal dorky voice we're all familiar with. "Well, whaddya know? I'm back to normal!"

Just then, Motoko rushed into the room and threw the door open. Su turned around and smiled.

"Well, shall we start this again?" Su's smile grew.

"Better not screw up this time." Motoko answered, her voice also back to normal.

"Don't worry," Su replied. "I copied down the exact formula right down to the last drop." She took out two more pills, one red and one blue. "All right. The red one makes your voice feminine and the blue one makes your voice masculine."

"I hope so." Keitaro said cautiously, as he took the red one, and Motoko took the blue one.

"Before you swallow them," Su interrupted. "You have to do it outside. Out there, each of you has a bush to hid under, and there will be a glass of water to help you swallow your pills and a bag of clothes to change into."

"Is that so?" Motoko inquired.

"Yup!" Su said in a cheerful tone. "You just have to find a way to get out of the house without Naru and the others suspecting a thing."

"Then, I have a plan." Motoko said.

(O)

"COME BACK HERE, URASHIMA!" Motoko shouted as she was chasing Keitaro down the hall, swinging her bokken about. Keitaro frantically ran as Motoko was gaining on him.

Naru watched this and smiled, knowing that whatever he did, he'll have hell to pay.

They both ran out of the house and into the front porch, and then they ran down the steps, where they see bushes on both sides. They stopped and tried to catch their breath.

"You think they fell for it?" Keitaro asked.

"I'm sure they did." Motoko answered. "Living with them as long as I have, even Naru's gullible as hell."

"It figures." Keitaro replied.

"Well, let's get this over with." Motoko said. They both found their respective bushes to hide behind. They swallowed their pills and they each opened a bag of clothes and changed. They both hesitated to come out, but when they did, their faces were redder than a brick.

Motoko was dressed in a three piece suit and what looked like a Zorro hat, where her long hair was hidden to give off the illusion that she was a man; the fact that she's tall didn't hurt, either.

Keitaro, on the other hand, was dressed in a strapless red silk dress, his curves surprisingly feminine. He wore a sleeker pair of glasses so his dorky ones didn't ruin the look. Also, he was wearing a velvet jacket. They were a bit formally dressed for a trip to the movies, but they didn't care much about that. They held hands and snuck away from the premises of the Hinata Sou.

(O)

As they waited in line to get tickets, Keitaro turned to Motoko with a smirk on his face. "Remember." He said, now in a feminine voice. "I'M the woman, so YOU have to pay for tickets, as well as concessions."

"Sure…" Motoko said, now in a male voice. She could only look away as she thought, _Cheap bastard._

Eventually, it was their turn to get tickets. Keitaro looked around for what looked like a romance film, or a chick flick. Though he was tempted to see the next Ghost in the Shell movie, he didn't want anyone around them to suspect. So, instead he chose a movie called _Healing Vision_, something about a guy who wound up in a terrible car accident, forcing his otherwise selfish girlfriend to change for the better; sounded romantic enough. They both bought a ticket and went in.

(O)

Into the movie, Keitaro couldn't mask his male self, anymore; he was getting bored to the max. Then again, he was never into romance dramas anyway. His head fell on Motoko's right shoulder. The samurai cringed for a minute, but thought it over and just let it pass, and hope no one goes over to ridicule her for this. Keitaro was drooling on her now, which sucked for her. Luckily, there's the fact that not all girls are the same.

Keitaro suddenly felt a rumble in his vocal chords; this woke him up. He tapped Motoko's shoulders. "Motoko…" He stopped to realize that his voice was changing back to normal. "Oh, crap, my voice! It's changing!" What the poor man didn't notice, was that when his voice was changing back to normal, he kind of sounded like a demon, and that a priest and a deacon were sitting in front of them.

"Oh, crap! Crap! Crap! Crap! Crap!" He kept saying. Motoko was tapping on his shoulders, trying to signal him to stop talking but to no avail.

The priest heard it all and stood up, along with his deacon friend. He turned to the deacon. "Bring me the Holy water."

"Father?" The deacon said.

"I need to do some exorcising." The priest replied. The deacon gave him a bottle. The priest opened it, lightly poured the contents on his hand, and started sprinkling it all over him. The contents actually started burning his eyes.

"Oh…my fucking…God!" Keitaro screamed. "It fucking hurts!" Motoko tried to signal him to stop talking, but his eyes just hurt too damn much not to scream.

"Father?" The deacon said. "That's not Holy Water. It's acid."

"Well," The priest replied. "It's still working, right?"

"Good point." The deacon responded. The priest started sprinkling it on Keitaro again.

The cross dressing manager ran out of the theater, with Motoko following him. The priest felt that his work was done.

(O)

"DAMMIT! WHAT THE FUCK WAS HE THINKING!" Keitaro screamed, running out of the building, his voice back to normal.

"First of all, you need to watch your language, Urashima." Motoko answered, her voice also back to normal. "Second, you sounded like a specter whenever the pill changed your voice.

"Well, there was another date of disaster." Keitaro replied. "Now what?"

"Let's just go home, change behind the bush, and pretend we were still job hunting." Motoko responded.

(O)

"They still haven't found a job yet." Haruka said to herself, sitting at a table in her teahouse. "It makes me wonder what they're really doing. I need to talk with them when they get back here." She put her cigarette back in her mouth and stood up, looking towards the teahouse's exit. "They're running out of time, by the way."

To be continued.

Please review.

* * *

On the next chapter… 

_All My Samurai (Part I)_

Motoko and Keitaro are in a dilemma when they try to look for a job and make money before their time is up. Luckily, or maybe not if you're Motoko, Kugashira-san offered them a chance to audition for a hot new teen drama. They haven't a clue of what they get themselves into next.

* * *

Also be sure to read my other fics _Awe of She_, and _Tokyo Myuh Myuh_. You can find them in my profile. 

Until next time, Ciao!

-GYRAX of the Dark Icon Writers


	3. All My Samurai Part I

Note: I do not own Love Hina, or any other intellectual properties. They are all copyrights of their respectful owners. The rest, however, is MINE, BEE-YOTCHES!

**Ranko** – Will do.

**Keitaro+Motoko 4ever of the Dark Icon Writers** – I'm still figuring out what to do with our joint project.

**Vash** – Thank you.

**filetmignon19** – I'm glad you thought so.

**mdizzle** – Nice to see you agree with me. :p

**dark** - I'm still deciphering a role for the rest of the crew.

**TornadoReviewer** – The romance shall come in due time.

**Drgnmastr-Alex of the Dark Icon Writers** – I appreciate it, dude.

**Sion R. Strife** – I will not disappoint, my friend.

**NefCanuck** – The money should roll in anytime now.

**tomdj1701** – Thanks.

* * *

GYRAX Presents… 

_I Love You. (Just Don't Tell Anyone.)_

Chapter 3: _All My Samurai (Part I)_

_

* * *

_  
"Do you know how long you guys have?" Haruka asked.

"Not really." Keitaro replied. "How long?"

"We're already approaching the end of the month, and you two haven't found a single job, yet. What's going on, anyway? How tough is it to get a job these days?"

"You haven't really a clue." Motoko asked. "I already tried to get the position as Kendo instructor, and that was already taken. Come to think of it, I'm not that good at much else. I spent a large chunk of my life practicing Kendo, and not much time doing much else. I just really wanted to carry on…"

"Try thinking outside the box, Motoko." Haruka replied. "And Kendo isn't the only thing you're good at, I'm sure of it."

"What can I try out though? This is harder than I first thought."

"A tip: Stay away from the game design job." Keitaro answered. "I tried it. It's difficult as hell. You know they say all that bullcrap on the commercials just to pull you in their own personal hell."

"Just find a job soon." Haruka said. After that, she walked out of the dining room.

Keitaro and Motoko were left hanging. What are they to do now? This'll require some real brainpower, and some introspection.

(O)

"When are you going to pay us?" Keitaro asked through the phone, a nice little turtle phone at Su's room. "I had acid sprinkled in my eyes, and I was chased by a mob of rabid fan girls, and I still didn't get paid yet!"

"Relax for a second and I'll tell you." Said Kugashira-san from the other end.

"Ok, I'm relaxed. Now when are we going to receive a paycheck?" Keitaro said. "When we initially spoke of this deal, you never once told us about our pay."

"Yet if we paid you for doing seemingly nothing, the your aunt Haruka would suspect something, right?"

"You got a point." Keitaro sighed. "So we should find a job first, and then you will pay us, is that right?"

"Precisely."

"Well, that hardly makes any sense." Keitaro replied.

"But, at least you won't have anyone suspecting you of being paid out of laziness." Kugashira-san responded. "Add to it you'll be loaded even after you pay the bill, from your job and from us."

"Still sounds weird, but you're the producer, so you call the shots." Keitaro said.

"I just hope it works out for you." The producer said.

"Me too." Keitaro replied. "Well, see you later."

"Goodbye."

Keitaro hung up the phone and stepped away from it. He then turned to Motoko. "We need to hurry up with our job hunt, or he won't pay us."

"What happened to him paying us up front?" Motoko asked.

"Ain't gonna happen." Keitaro answered. "He wants us to find a job before he pays us, or Haruka will suspect us for being able to pay the bills without a job."

"What?" Motoko replied.

"Think about it." Keitaro said in response. "Haruka will be quickly onto something if we are unemployed and broke one day, and suddenly loaded the next, and without telling her that we had a job. If we can pay without a job, then our cover might even be blown."

"So where do we start?" Motoko inquired.

"There's a killer new nightclub…" Keitaro trailed off when he looked directly at Motoko's face, which began to express irritation, and glow pink. Keitaro sighed. "Forget I said that."

"You think we should just work at the Yoshinoya beef bowl place down the street?" Motoko inquired.

"The fast food industry is the last place we want to work." Keitaro answered.

"Good point." Motoko replied. "At first, I wanted to work at a place I can relate to, but now I just want a damn job."

"I know how you feel." Keitaro responded. A second of silence carried out through the room, until Keitaro sensed a figure right behind him. Before he even got to finish turning around, he heard…

"HIYA, KEITARO!" Then Su gave him a flying kick to the cheekbone, sending him to the other side of the jungle room.

Keitaro took a few more seconds to get up. "Ouch! Su, do you ever think about the damage you can cause by doing that? If you want to greet me, then try a kick that doesn't send someone flying across the room."

"Okies!" Su seemingly complied. She looked at Keitaro; her face clearly showing the she needs to tell him something big, now. "Hey, Keitaro? Can we go to your room and speak in private?"

"Umm…" Keitaro trailed off for a moment. Then he spoke again. "All right, just don't try something funny."

"Okies!" Su responded. Motoko watched as they walked off and out of the jungle laboratory that Su calls a bedroom. Question marks were popping up all over from inside her head as she thought about what the two of them would want to say in private. Some thoughts were stuck in her mind, and they were the ones she wanted to get out.

(O)

"You want me to what?" Keitaro asked, his face clearly expressing total shock.

"Say something to get Motoko angry." Su answered, cheerful as usual. "That way, she'll chase you all the way to this hot new studio where Mr. Producer is waiting for you."

"How do I know where this place is?" Keitaro inquired.

"Here's a map." Su handed Keitaro a folded piece of paper. Keitaro unfolded it and took a good look at it. He looked back at Su after a minute of reading into the map.

"That place won't be hard to find." He said with confidence. "I'm more familiar with this area. The hard part though, is getting Motoko to chase me without getting hurt."

"Getting her riled up is a natural talent of yours." Su replied with a smile crossing her face.

"But not getting hurt ain't one." Keitaro said.

"Just run like the wind!" Su shouted.

"Easy for you to say." Keitaro sighed. "Eventually Motoko will use that dumb ki attack of hers and Naru will follow it up with her famous death punch. It's way too predictable!"

"I'll be your backup, then." Su replied.

"And just what are YOU up to?" Keitaro asked, a drop and sweat running down the back of his head.

(O)

Motoko heard the door open. When she turned around, she saw Keitaro standing there, his face looking like he's feeling a bit of irritation. She stood up and approached him, wondering what got his face slightly contorting. "What's with the face, Urashima?"

Keitaro only turned to her; his mouth zipped completely shut. Motoko couldn't help but feel a bit frustrated out of getting no response from the manager. She stood in front of him, still waiting for an answer. She opened her mouth to speak again, but before she uttered a sound, she felt something on her chest. Pausing for a moment, she took a second to see what it was, and of course, it was Keitaro's right hand. As predictable as an encore performance of a big movie, she grew pissed to the max. She got her bokken ready, but Keitaro dashed off and left the room at lightning speed. He seemingly ran so fast that he left singe marks on the floor. Motoko didn't hesitate to chase after him.

"Wow!" Keitaro exclaimed, as he was running at an inhuman speed. "Su's high speed Flat-Out pill really works, but why did it have to be a suppository?" He quickly made singe trails as he ran downstairs. Motoko surprisingly wasn't that far behind.

(O)

As the chase went on down the street, it made quite a scene, as people stopped their normal daily conduct to take a gander at what the commotion was.

As Keitaro was making his mad dash, he took a little time to look at the map he was holding. After a few more seconds of looking into it, he put it back in his pocket and picked up speed, big time. Motoko was still surprisingly able to keep a close proximity to the landlord, as they started running at seemingly the speed of sound towards a building at the corner of an intersection.

(O)

The doors busted wide open as Keitaro practically shot through the whole line of young hopefuls that were waiting for something great at the end of the line. Motoko was still not far behind him, and was actually GAINING on him. Keitaro stopped right in front of a judge's desk, to the dismay of many hundreds of teenagers that were standing in line for hours on end. Motoko finally came over and grabbed his shirt and began to shake him violently.

"YOU IMMORAL, ABOMINABLE, VILE, DEPRAVED, DISREPUTABLE, LEWD, OFFENSIVE, INSALURIOUS, REPULSIVE, BEDRAGGLED, SEX FIEND!" Motoko shouted as loud as her voice could allow.

"I get the point! I'm a pervert!" Keitaro replied.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THE PROBLEM WITH YOU MEN ANYWAY?" Motoko cried out.

"I was under the impression that you got used to it." Keitaro answered.

"You're more dense than I thought!" Motoko retorted. "You think I'll just stand there and just let your little perverted acts go by without retribution? Well, I have bad news for you Urashima; you're going to get your punishment here and now! WHY DID I EVEN AGREE TO GO ON A DATE WITH YOU?"

"Bravo." The sound of a pair of hands clapping was heard from the judge's desk. The twosome turned to see that it wasn't any of the three judges sitting at their table, but actually the producer, who was next to them, and still lying on his hospital bed with an IV attached to him. "I think you got the part."

"Kugashira-san?" Keitaro gasped.

"In the flesh," The producer responded. "Or rather, in the hospital bed."

"How did you get that thing down here?" Keitaro asked.

"Don't think you can worm away form this, Urashima." Motoko growled.

"Well," The producer said. "I had to hire some weightlifters to do the job. Getting them to move this thing all the way here was a monster bitch, but here I am."

"Interesting…" Keitaro sweat dropped. "Anyway, why are you here in the first place?"

"I just want to tell you guys that this will be your new job." The producer casually replied, despite lying in his hospital bed.

"New job?" Motoko repeated.

"New job." The producer repeated.

"What IS our new job?" Motoko inquired.

"Well, aren't you guys lucky?" The producer said as an answer. "You will be playing the main characters in a hot new teen drama!"

After hearing that, both of them stood absolutely motionless. Then they just looked at each other, their eyes the size of trashcan lids. Then, they spoke in unison, "We're stars?"

(O)

Kitsune was taking a gander at the scenery in front of her, as she stood at the front of the apartment complex. The wind was blowing gently against her, and the air was crisp; the weather was perfect, but taking in the atmosphere around her was not what Kitsune was doing.

Naru walked up to her and taped on her right shoulder. "What's up?"

"I'm looking for those two lovebirds to come back." The sly fox replied with a grin drawn on her face.

"Lovebirds?" Naru replied, obviously just throwing away the lovebird comment like a gum wrapper. "They're just going on their job hunt, ok?"

"But only Motoko was chasing Keitaro lately." Kitsune replied. "And why was it that Keitaro was only being a pervert around HER, and not any one of us?"

Naru took a second to let that sink in and think for a moment, holder her chin to physically signal it. The brunette started to get Kitsune's drift this time, rather than throw away the comment again. She looked back at the sly fox. "You know, you may be on to something."

"I told you." Kitsune replied, the grin extending across her face at both edges. "There's something going on between them."

"I doubt it." Naru replied. "Maybe Keitaro just has a real problem with Motoko and he just acquired a new samurai girl fetish or something."

"Nah." This time, Kitsune threw Naru's remark away like trash. "That theory doesn't suit me well."

"Whatever. See you later, Kitsune." Naru left to go back in her house. Kitsune continued looking at the city in front of her.

"You managed to fool Naru, but not me." Kitsune chuckled. "I'm on to you two. I know what you're up to, heh-heh-heh."

To be continued.

Please review.

* * *

On the next chapter… 

_All My Samurai (Part II)_

Now that our twosome has become a TV couple, and a really popular one at that, they start to get viewer mail at the Hinata House. When the situation grows out of control, the couple grows increasingly desperate. Even worse, is that Kitsune really is on to them.

If you watch Fullmetal Alchemist as well as Love Hina, then you should enjoy my newcomer fic _Fullmetal Sensei Edward Elric_, you can find it in my profile.

Also, this fic has been added to the C2 list _Keitaro and Motoko Fics_, and that isn't really a bad thing.

Until next time, Ciao!

-GYRAX


	4. All My Samurai Part II

Note: I do not own Love Hina, or any other intellectual properties. They are all copyrights of their respectful owners. The rest, however, is MINE, BEE-YOTCHES!

* * *

GYRAX Presents… 

_I Love You. (Just Don't Tell Anyone.)_

Chapter 4: _All My Samurai (Part II)_

* * *

"There's something definitely up with them." Kitsune said to herself, as she sat on the floor in her room. "Keitaro has to have a thing for her. He didn't even bother trying those stunts on us anymore." Although the real answer to this problem is eluding her, no matter how hard she tried to catch up, she decided to stop the chase early and come up with an answer herself.

"They must be in love." It was an answer that made the fox very sure of herself. "Or at least Keitaro must have a thing for Motoko. He doesn't even want to play with us, anymore." It was the only answer she could come up with, and even then, it was a theory at best. Being Kitsune, she wasn't in the mood for thinking much. Hell, she did not even want to think at all; the only reason why she bothered was because she knew something was up and part of her brain was pressuring her.

"Granted, he's still a clumsy little pervert," Kitsune added. "But what he did around Motoko seemed suspicious, like when he seemed to have _deliberately_ felt up Motoko's breasts a few hours ago. That has to be it. They're up to something, and I'll find out what." Now _very_ sure of herself, Kitsune believed that she caught the answer that was running from her in the first place. Feeling confident, and also very excited, she walked out of the room. It would have been better to say she _power walked_ out of the room.

Her grin was quite evil.

(O)

"And --- cut!" Shouted the loud and demanding voice that came from the director.

And just like that, the actors and actresses stopped altogether and walked away from the set. It was actually filmed on location at a ballroom. Among the cast were Motoko Aoyama and Keitaro Urashima, of course; in fact, they were the stars of the show, much to their chagrin.

Visions of a grim future could not leave Keitaro's head; they have clung on to the walls of his mind like cheese to a frying pan. If Naru's punch would not be the final blow, which sent him to complete oblivion, then it would be the paparazzi; Naru would see the paparazzi hovering around Keitaro and then punch him to oblivion. Or even worse, Kitsune would be draping all over him, and then Naru would see the scandal and sock him to oblivion. Either way you see it, Death was waiting for him back at home, and he has having a tea party.

Motoko, on the other hand, was in even _more_ pressure. All that was waiting for her was shame; how could she let a contemptible _thing_ like Keitaro lure her into the razor-sharp claws of fame and celebrity. Surely, if the Shinmei School ever got word of this, they would use her as a training dummy; the poor younger Aoyama would be tied up to a tree and just wail as bokkens would be striking her as if she was in a piñata party gone horrible wrong, or very right, depending on how sick one's sense of humor is.

In short, life sucked right now.

Now, that the two were done playing their parts for the day, they could go home now, but they had to make up a story.

(O)

As the sun set and turned the sky the most brilliant glowing shade of orange, our hopeless "couple" walked the streets of Hinata, heading right towards their house. Both of them were shaking in absolute fear; this must not reach anyone.

Keitaro especially was feeling the heat. His very survival depended on one single story that he made up himself. He literally spent all day thinking it up; no one could blame him, as it had to be authentic and very, _very_ believable. If it sounded even a tad bit suspicious, then Death would be swinging his scythe away like a kid who just got a kick-ass new aluminum bat. He turned to Motoko, the pressure building up every second he looked at her. It was time that he told her the story, so that she would be sure of what he was up to.

"Alright, Motoko."

"Alright what, Urashima?"

"For now, we'll have to go by _my_ story."

"_Your _story?"

"I made up a story, and I ant to tell you in advance to avoid confusion."

"You thought up something, huh?"

"Yep." Keitaro took a big gulp. It was tell or die time for our little manager. Though he was a bit hesitant, not absolutely sure of what Motoko's response might be, he did not want to regret anything later, so he took no more time and spoke up.

"All right, Motoko. Here's the story: We were hired at the hot new Otaku Café down the street and decided to take part time jobs there - "

"I'll have to cut you off there."

"Why?"

"Well, why the Otaku Café?"

"Never mind that. We were just hired there, ok? Well, we decided to take the bus back to the Hinata House, but it turns out that it was hijacked by a madman, and Keanu Reeves warned us that if it went under fifty five miles an hour, the bus would explode and we all would die. So he took the liberty to disarm the bomb from underneath the bus."

"Excuse me?"

"After we get out, we found ourselves fighting in Kuwait, and then once we went back to Hinata, we met the fallen Angel Gabriel (played by Christopher Walken)."

Motoko took a lot of time trying to figure out the plot; the story was just plain ass dumb, but she could not help but try to make sense out of it. Afterwards, she just felt like beating the stupid out of him. "Urashima, that wasn't even a story; it was an amalgamation of movie synopses."

"I'm sorry Motoko. I just couldn't think of a _legitimate_ story. That acting job just wore me out and scrambled my brain." At this time, Keitaro really felt like he _was_ ass dumb for even thinking of a story like that. Why did he even bother, then? Not even he knew. He knew deep within that he had to make up for the stupidity. He turned his head, so his eyes could meet his partner's. "Just let me do the talking, okay?"

"So you can tell that 'dungpile' of a story, anyway?"

"No. I have a better one."

(O)

"So did you get a job yet?" Asked Haruka, with her hands at her hips as she looked at the fruitless couple sternly. They stood at the usual meeting room. The Teahouse owner was growing tired of them coming home still unemployed, and the tone of voice showed it.

Keitaro could sense the frustration emanating from his dear aunt. Luckily, they actually _have a job_ now, so he can feel free to tell away. "Yep!" As he says it, he projects his good mood created from their new state of employment onto Haruka.

"Where are you working?" The teahouse owner inquired.

This was it; Keitaro had to think of something quick. If he stalled for just a few seconds, Haruka will catch on to him and then everything will just go out of whack. If he actually told the truth, all hell would break loose, so of course it was necessary to make something up. In a fit of irritation that he tried not to show, he uttered the first thing that came in his mind.

"Bartenders!"

Motoko just looked at him funny. What kind of half-assed answer was that? The boy ronin is just hopeless sometimes. It really pisses her off.

Haruka, however, bought it for the time being. "Cool."

Keitaro, knowing that he was practically clean, was now having a fiesta of pure happiness in the hallowed halls of his brain. The job hunt was officially over, and he was feeling fine, nay, better than ever. He completely forgot about the fact that he had just lied through his teeth, and that sooner or later, he will have to cover it up. He will end up regretting that, later.

(O)

"Wake up, Urashima."

Keitaro slowly opened his eyes. He was not in the mood to wake up. Once he pushed his body to an upright position, he grew irritable as well as groggy. He looked around to see where the female voice came from, although he already recognized that distinct voice before he even opened his eyes. When his head turned to the left, he saw a figured dressed in white and red; it was Motoko.

"What do you want, Motoko? Can't you see I was sleeping. My eyes were closed, I was lying down, and everything."

"Cut the crap, Urashima. We have an emergency."

(O)

"What the hell is this?"

Keitaro had every right to say that, and bluntly too. What the two saw before them was a huge stockpile of envelopes that practically reached the roof of Haruka's teahouse. God must be having the time of his life right now, laughing at poor Keitaro as he looked upon the pile with unadulterated hopelessness and pure fear of being compromised. Who knows what would happen to them now? Maybe they will be skinned alive and drained of their blood, or worse --- Naru might throw another monster temper tantrum.

Motoko turned to him, as if he had the answer to everything. "So, Urashima? What do we do about _this_?"

"Don't ask _me_ that!"

"Fine, but don't yell at me."

"I'm sorry. It's just I'M FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW!"

"If I had a fanbase that I wanted to cover up, I'd freak out, too."

The two looked behind them to find out where the voice came from. To their greatest fear, it was none other than the owner of the teahouse herself --- Haruka. Deep inside, they freaked.

"So Keitaro, how are you going to deal with this problem? You don't want the others to catch on, do you?"

"You knew?"

"You think I'm dumb? I have my sources."

"I'd use my Rock Splitting Sword, but then I found out taht my ki attack would just blow the envelopes all over the place."

"They can't be fan mail, they just can't!"

"Get over it, Keitaro."

"I CAN'T!" The poor ronin was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Thoughts and grim visions of his untimely end were giggling as they ran around his head like pixies. As they kept running around, they increasingly mocked the poor man, virtually begging for him to break, which did _not_ take long. "That's it! We're going to **BURN THEM**!" His brain has now officially reached meltdown, and he had no problem showing it. He was laughing maniacally as he held a flamethrower he seemingly picked up out of nowhere. His glasses reflected in the most demonic way possible.

"Not a good idea. You want to burn my teahouse down?" Haruka was still able to keep her composure at a time like this. motoko saw that as a miracle.

"How else am I going to stop the madness? I ask you that."

"Hell if I know."

"I already got a flame thrower."

"You are _not_ going to use that here, Urashima!"

"If you want to burn those letters, take them all outside and do it there."

"You're okay with that!"

"Why not. If it'll make him feel better."

"I'm glad you understand my dear auntie. Now if you excuse me, IT'S TRASH BURNING DAY!"

"What --- the --- HELL did you call me?"

Oh, he was in for it now. He now wondered why he ever let himself go crazy like that. All that mattered right now was that now hew might not live to see another day. He saw the Grim Reaper in her eyes. And all he was able to say at the moment was --- "Crap!"

"How many times did I tell you _not_ to call me aunt?" She roared ferociously. In that instant she began to catch fire.

The hopeless couple took notice immediately, and they froze in absolute fear. They knew they were dead now. They might was well call a funeral home and get burial insurance because they will seriously need a coffin now.

That's when Haruka lit on fire; her rage now had a physical form. The flames engulfed every inch of her body, and her eyes turned into brightly shining lights of impending doom. The fire then spread to the stockpile of fan mail she was standing next to. It was not long until the entire pile of envelopes was set ablaze. The brilliant orange glow of the fire now lit the teahouse better then even the sun.

Keitaro could not do a damn thing; he was just a manager. Motoko could use her ki attack, but it would destroy the teahouse in the process. To make a long story short, they were both scared as crap. They had no choice but to hightail it out of there, so they did.

"Dammit!" Keitaro shouted, feeling mighty stupid right now. "And you guys said my flamethrower would burn down the teahouse!"

"Just shut it, Urashima!"

And just like that, everyone evacuated the teahouse, and the place just burned to the ground. The wood was slowly turning black as it was being reduced to nothing but embers. The structure of the wood was deteriorating, forcing the whole thing to collapse as it burned down. This did not even scratch Haruka; then again her aura was on fire. The enraged woman, still on fire, and her eyes still demonic glowing death balls, walked away from the wreck and headed in the couple's direction.

(O)

From the hospital bed, Kugashira was grinning; he was having a grand old time himself. "I'm sneaky."

(O)

"What on Earth happened?" Shinobu stared at the wreck that used to be the teahouse. She was on her way back to the Hinata house from school, but who would blame her for stopping at the burnt down place and just staring at it. It was the teahouse Haruka used to own, and it was actually burnt to the ground. Of course one would be as surprised as Shinobu right now. She was compelled to tell just about anyone she could about this, so she turned away and readied herself to run back to the house, but when she put her right foot in front of her left, she had a distinct feeling that she stepped on something.

She lifted her right foot and looked down; it was an envelope. She picked it up and looked at the front of the crumpled up dirty mail. It had the address of the Hinata house, along with Keitaro's name, imprinted right on it. Not only that, but it was already open. Temptation was now breathing down her neck. She knew that she was not allowed to read it, but she just had to. She grew nervous, hoping no one was around to watch her --- so she gave in. Already feeling guilty over it, she stealthily took the paper out of the slightly burnt envelope. In the exact same manner, she unfolded the paper and carefully read the contents; it did not say much. All it did say was:

dear Kietaro,

OMG! ur hot! be mine, plz!

ur love,

Tamako Kanehara

Shinobu was puzzled as to why someone would send a letter to Keitaro, and how she knew about him in the first place, but something else was bothering her. "She spelled Sempai's name wrong, and her grammar's terrible."

To be continued.

Please review.

* * *

On the next chapter…

_All My Samurai (Part III)_

Just when it couldn't get any worse, Keitaro has an obsessed fan chasing after him. Now he has a bigger problem trying to keep it all a secret. The fan, however, sees this as a golden opportunity, and fater than you can say "carpe diem", she forces Keitaro to go on a date. And if you think Motoko is going to just stand there and let it all go scott free, then you're hopeless.

If you watch Fullmetal Alchemist as well as Love Hina, then you should enjoy my newcomer fic _Fullmetal Sensei Edward Elric_, you can find it in my profile.

Until next time, Ciao!

-GYRAX


End file.
